HAILSTONE WHO?

There may be a few of you out there who want to brush up your knowledge of our glorious club, or even, God forbid, know nothing about us. Therefore we've compiled this brief guide to Halesowen Town, so you can pretend to your pals that you've been a fan for years.

• Where's Halesowen then?
• How do I get there?
• What does 'The Grove' look like?
• If I fancy a drink before the game, where should I go?
• Have you ever won anything?
• Have you any famous old players?
• What about the current ones?
• Why are you called 'The Yeltz'?
• Can you briefly tell me about the history of the club?

Halesowen is in the Black Country, a few miles west of Birmingham (England, of course).

Depends how you're travelling. (View a better map than the one opposite)

By car:

• Get to Junction 3 of the M5
• Head towards Kidderminster on the A456 for a mile or so to the first traffic island at the bottom of the hill.
• Turn right on to the A459 towards Dudley (the cricket ground should now be on your left) and continue past where the road splits to the next island.
• Turn left here on to the A458 towards Stourbr**ge until you get to the next island.
• Take the 3rd exit (Old Hawne Lane) and the ground is about 400 yards away, at the top of the hill on the left.

By train, the easiest way is to get to Birmingham New Street, and then get a number 9 bus to Halesowen that will drop you off outside the ground on the Stourbridge Road. The 9's run every 8 minutes or so in the day, but take about 30/40 minutes.

Why not take a gander at the GroveCam, a 'live' camera pointed at The Grove. Or for a bird's eye view try the SatelliteCam brought to you courtesy of the Bulgarian Secret Service.

Halesowen's clubhouse is most welcoming, but the best place is the Waggon & Horses just down from the Stourbridge Road End entrance. You can also try the Midlands Pub Guide for other local establishments.

Yes:

• FA Vase Winners 1985, 1986; Finalists 1983
• Beazer Homes League Midland Division 1990
• West Midlands League Champions 1983, 1984, 1985, 1986
• West Midlands League Cup Winners 1983, 1985
• Birmingham League Champions 1947
• Birmingham Senior Cup Winners 1984, 1998; Finalists 1952, 1962
• Worcester Senior Cup Winners 1952, 1962; Finalists 1988
• Staffs. Senior Cup Winners 1989; Finalists 1984
• FA Cup 1st Round Proper 1955, 1985, 1986, 1987, 1988, 1989, 1990, 1991

A few. Can I direct you to our guide to ex-Halesowen players?

There's a whole page of information about the current set of superstars.

The truth is - nobody really knows. A Yeltz is simply someone from Halesowen.

The best explanation I've heard is that Halesowen used to be Hales Owen, before that Halas Owen, and even earlier than that Halas. The Black Country accent sometimes turns H into Y as in "on me yead, son", so Halas could become Yalas which is reasonably close to Yeltz. That really is the best one.

For an alternative derivation, try Argus Ada's suggestion.

Halesowen Town is one of the oldest football clubs in the world, being formed in 1873. However for over 100 years we were rubbish. Aside from a couple of minor cup victories, we spent most of our existance floundering in various Birmingham and Midland Leagues. At times, the only thing keeping us running was the efforts of 'Mr Halesowen Town' - Harry Rudge. Before his untimely death in 1990, 'H' filled every role in the club at one time or other, including player, manager, groundsman, secretary and anything else you can think of.

Then suddenly something strange happened - we got a decent team together and started winning things. Manager Paddy Page assembled a squad of promising youngsters, and in 1982-83 we had an unbelieveable year. We won the West Midlands League for the first time, as well as winning the League Cup, but more importantly we reached the final of the FA Vase at Wembley. Despite having already beaten our opponents VS Rugby (spit) twice in the league that year already, we froze on our big day and lost 1-0.

Not to worry, two years later we were back at the home of football. This time there was no mistake, as we beat Fleetwood 3-1 in the greatest day in the history of the club (so far?). By the next year we were getting a bit blase about the whole thing, as we once again won the Vase by beating Southall 3-0 in front of over 17,000 people, most of whom had come down from Halesowen.

Despite winning the West Midlands League for four years running between 1982-83 to 1985-86, the Southern League wouldn't let us be promoted into their league. They said our ground wasn't up to coping with the bigger crowds of the higher leagues, despite the fact that we were already getting bigger crowds than any teams in the Southern League. People in Halesowen were getting very angry about the whole business, feeling that the Southern League clubs who were voting against us were simply jealous of our continuing success. However, all this spurred the club into completely renovating the ground, erecting the Harry Rudge Stand, flattening the pitch and constructing new terracing along one side of the ground. Finally the Southern League (now known as the Doc Martens League) relented, and in 1986-87 we were finally allowed to progress up the non-league pyramid.

From 1985 to 1991, Halesowen reached the 1st round of the FA Cup for 7 consecutive years. On 4 occasions we played professional teams, and each time we were unlucky to lose. SOUTHEND beat us 4-1, but were extremely flattered by that scoreline, breaking away in the last five minutes to clinch the game after we had been all over them in the second half. We lost 2-0 to BRENTFORD, again in a very even game. Against CARDIFF CITY, we lost 1-0 to a hotly disputed penalty and were by far the better team, and lost 2-1 to an excellent TRANMERE ROVERS side after taking the lead.

In 1990, we finally gained promotion to the Beazer Premier League by winning the Midland Division with a side that contained several players that have subsequently gone on to play professional football. We're still making steady progress towards our goal of the Vauxhall Conference, coming very close in 1993-94 and just missing in the last few years.